Ask An Autism Mom EP. 59

Q&A Session With Jenn and David:
Parenting Special Needs Child Tips

First I want to talk about different parenting styles…

I'm very much the parent that I hold her back. I will admit, I am afraid she's going to get hurt or it's not going to be a positive situation. On the other hand, David is very opposite and believe failure builds character...

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Episode Highlights:

Question and Answer Session with Jenn and David Eggert. Ask us anything about special needs parenting. Prepare your questions and get them ready!


Jenn Eggert: Hi everyone, This is Jenn Eggert of LakiKid ask an autism parent. And you can join me every Monday, live at 1:00 PM eastern to meet other parents, share your insights and learn tips and tricks. Today I'm actually doing a very different show. I'm doing a personal question and answer session so you can ask me and my husband, David, whatever you want. Now, while we're waiting for people to get on, you know my usual spiel. I want to thank everyone for coming. We appreciate every like Share and tags. So remember you could type the number "5" to subscribe to live updates and you can like comment, tag, share our show. We appreciate every single one of them. I want to welcome those of you watching live on Facebook or listening to the podcast on iTunes or youtube. If you want to get alerts to watch us live and ask questions live, then remember you can visit or type the number "5" in the comments section below.

Jenn Eggert: So I want to welcome those of you watching. Oh, I see. Angela is watching. Good afternoon, Angela. I'm happy you're here. So again, if you're joining us today is a different show. It is. Ask Anything Day. I have my husband here with me and we are willing to talk all things raising an autistic child, but before we get into that, I want to thank our sponsor. You all know who our sponsor is LakiKid. We have our wonderful write and chill, which was named by our daughter, which is the writeable lap pad. Can't get a clear, there we go. You draw on it with the water pen and it shows the color and then when it dries, the color goes away. Hi Angela. Hi Elizabeth. Welcome to the show. So again, LakiKid is our sponsor and we do have these writable weighted lap pads on our Kickstarter. I will give more information on that towards the end of the show. So again, ask us anything, prepare your questions and get them ready folks. Now first I want to talk about parenting styles. I'm very much the parent that I hold her back and I will admit, I am afraid she's going to get hurt or it's not going to be a positive situation. And David.

David Eggert:Biggest fear is failure. She doesn't want to see our daughter failed at anything which holds her back. Whereas I'm very opposite where failure builds character

Jenn Eggert: Now about, well no, it was two years ago. The Preschool Riley was in, had decided without our consent to hold her back for another year of five k I was seeing numbers that show that she should stay for five k. He requested all new evaluations and remember you can request your child to be evaluated whenever you want. So he requested all new evaluations about three weeks before the end of the school year. They came up to us two weeks, week and a half before the end of the school year and told us our daughter was graduating from five k into kindergarten.

Jenn Eggert: I didn't think it was possible. So I was willing to let her stay where David was the one who really pushed and all of that has accumulated into Riley finding her. Her first few months of kindergarten were rough. We had a lot of rough times and then as kindergarten progressed we realized the teacher was not the best fit for us. So her wonderful principal moved her to a better teacher. And then at the end of last year, her teacher in the IEP meeting let me know she is moving to first grade as well. So she kept Riley on. Now what does this mean for Riley today.

Jenn Eggert: Today This means Riley no longer has an IEP because she found the right teacher who found the way to teach her. This also means, and this is something David and I went to this morning and it means the world to us. I'll show you one piece at a time. Riley won the certificate of reading. This was for the highest numbers in the map testing. So when they say your autistic child struggles with map testing, don't listen to them and let them try. This is the little ribbon that got put around her neck for her reading award. And she also one terrific kids, which is for the year. This was for her behavior in the classroom, her helpfulness, her improvement, everything kind of culminated in this terrific kid award. So I want all of you to know that it doesn't matter where you start, you're ending, it can be far from where you began and it will be. This journey has led us from them telling us she would never talk to today as watching it with pride and taking a million pictures, which I will post them in group later of Riley winning these awards. So for us, our parenting styles being so very different polar opposites, they really have benefited our child. So if you're a mom out there and you're struggling, ask dad's help. If that is around, get him involved. I take care of the day to day, but David will admit he is heavily involved in everything, especially our children's education.

Jenn Eggert: We participate with me. Can we go to things We do things. Even the little things and people are going to laugh, but Riley loves when we joined her for lunch and it's just the little things. So thank you Kimberly. So they really mean a lot. Now, if you have any questions again that you want to ask me or Dave, please put them in the comment section now so that we can address them for you. But as you can see where you begin with a good parenting team does not have to be stuck. Hey Kimberly, I find that quite humorous.Kimberly's husband deals with anything math related. My children will tell you right now if it's math related, they go to daddy or the mathematician that the family daddy does math, mum doesn't. Now I kinda want to get into this briefly. I struggle in math because I when I was educated as a child in second grade, they split me between a special needs classroom in a regular classroom because of my ADHD and decided I was unteachable.

Jenn Eggert: So now I struggle with math. So I'm really careful about when, if they need to pull Riley out of class when they pull her out. And this is something that you all may want to think about for the fall question. When are you going to pull my child out of class for these four resource Or for whatever reason, therapy, because if not, you're going to get those split learning like I have and you're not actually going to have the child fully understand the concept of math or English or whatever it is. Now let's go to Julie. Welcome Julie. Thank you for watching. You're
new here. You have a 12 year old son in the same way he goes through so much. So if I could bubble him from something that will add his depression and anxiety, I do. I'm worried that since he's getting older, I will not be able to shield him from parts of life. You will not understand like crime. He was terrified to be alone in a room because he already things bad things are going to happen to him. How do I take steps for myself to deal with this David?

David Eggert: One of the things, there's a healthy amount of failure and she'll be, and then there's, you know, allowing them to experience that failure because if we show them constantly, when they do get older and we protect them from the failure, they don't know how to cope or manage that issue. Which we see throughout the generation of the younger, younger generation now is there, there's, they don't have the coping mechanisms that the older generations, and I consider myself an older generation, even if I am younger, that you know, we, we have, we can handle the failure, we can overcome that using different mechanisms where one, when we protect our kids, which is everybody's natural instinct, is to protect them, then they don't build those skills so that if they do deal with the failure or the disappointment later on, do you know, they don't know how to overcome those obstacles and that allows them to shutdown and creates more meltdowns and more issues that then what you're wanting to deal.

Jenn Eggert: And when it comes to crime and being terrified to be alone. Riley is that child. Last week she came home from school and avoid, told her about a monster. And David last, because it was when the whole story came out, it was kind of humorous. There is a monster at her friend's house who was a dark man with a wearing all black and he punched up the boys window in, jumped out the window and ran away. Now as an adults, we find that kind of humorous, but to her that was the epitome of fear. She would not be alone for a long time, but we had to give her the skills. And one of the fun ways we gave her the skills was yesterday we brought her to an amusement park and David our teenage son were keen on doing boob blasters but we all went together as a family and I told Riley, you take charge all these monsters here, you get to blast away with your little blasts the gun. So giving them a sense of control is very important. We try and give Riley as much control in her, even though she's only seven because we're there. If she fails, we're there to pick her up. So, but if we don't let her start having that control now, having that healthy dose of reality and fear, then when she's outside of our care, what's going to happen That's my biggest fear.

David: Nora, how to deal with parent burn out with dealing with my daughter Cheyenne who is nonverbal. She's nine. I'm a single mom. She also has epilepsy. So I'm gonna. When Riley was, when we were told Riley was nonverbal at 18 months old, the first thing that Jen started doing was teaching or basic sign language. Very, very simple commands that really took a lot of stress off. Because of just grants are sounds, train for them, trying to tell you what they Ed, very simple, just hey, I'm hungry. It really helped tremendously. We started with the sign, she started talking and obviously no one, not one case of autism is the same. Every kid is different. There is no same diagnosis, same brain or anything. And that's what makes autism very difficult in my opinion to handle is because you can't go to your neighbor's house, who their child is diagnosed with autism and have the same dealings, interactions, experience. But for us it was really get the basics down so that we had an understanding of what she was wanting, what she was needing which really helped her out along because she felt like she could communicate with us.

Jenn Eggert: And people have to understand, I may not be a single parent, but for most of Riley's life, up until the last year, Dave worked on the road. So I was a single parent Monday to Friday and I had to deal with it all by myself. So when you're dealing with parent burnout as a single parent, my first recommendation is start talking to your doctor and your case manager and your therapist and ask for respite care. It may not seem like a lot. We only got, I think we've got eight hours a month. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough that the two of us had time to go out together once a month to spend time together. And Nora in your case, it could be you could go and get your nails done or just go grocery shopping alone. We also use half of that time to take care of our teenage son to make sure that he still getting enough time. So Nora, please look into respite care.

David Eggert: One thing back to Nora, you have to, even if it's after she's asleep. Yes. Check in 30 mess of yourself. It just sitting in your bedroom, reading, just relaxing. Take, take a few minutes everyday to yourself. That is the ultimate refreshing piece. Because if you're not taking time for yourself and all your doing is go, go, go. That burnout is just gonna continue, continue till you get to a point where your, your health, we'll start failing because you're not looking after yourself. You're only looking after your child, which is very hard because as a parent, that's our, that's our goal is to make sure our children are good, they're taking care of and all that.

David Eggert: And the reason I laugh folks, I'm sorry. When he mentioned reading, I read before bed every night. That is my time. Multiple Times over the length of our marriage. I have had someone yell at me at two o'clock in the morning to turn my kindle off and go to bed because it gets so caught up in the meantime. And then the relaxation of it. Kimberly, my daughter's 13 in crazy mood issues lately with anger and laughter at me. Kimberly, unfortunately I'm going to tell you something you're not going to like welcome to puberty. Puberty really messes with our autistic children. Now, Dave and I have older children that are at various stages of puberty right now. And I can tell you, even with neuro typical children, puberty is a ugly, ugly beast too. We have one that cries. If you look at him wrong, we have one that completely shuts out the world. It's only her and her books.

David Eggert: Well, we have one that gets very angry. You know, it's very hard for anyone to deal with puberty when we've, we've all been through it. We know what we went through. You're just figuring out what the world's all about. And then your body goes through this massive change, which is hard enough for anybody, but you add in the autism factor where they may not be able to process what's going on and it just, it sends them into overload. There's we were discussing today, you know Jens father asked, so when she goes in the mouth on, you just squeeze her all the time. And a lot of times, yes, because that's what she needs. She needs that pressure, that deep, constant pressure. Obviously I'm not a small guy so I can, I squeeze her as hard as I can. Other times that maybe hey, it's too loud whatever it may be, it's, it's hard enough for a normal kid, but you had an autism that experience and it's hard for them to deal with that.

Jenn Eggert: And are now Kimberly, my first recommendation is going to be contacting your doctor, talk to your PCP and see what they can do to help. I know with one of our children, we have actually had to do mood stabilizers and it took him from this child who was in a dark place to, he's happy. He's now off the meds actually, but he's living a good life. So looking to, talking to your doctor and seeing what your doctor says, Angela. Oh Angela, how did I know you were gonna ask me this. Angela's one of my dearest friends and she loves to try and Stump Jen. So how do you deal with Riley understanding that she is different? I went to a conference at the beginning of March and as most of I got to meet and speak with pimple Brandon, I also got to hear her speak as a keynote speaker.

Jenn Eggert: Now, one of the things that really gets Riley is when you see something like she's a very visual child, like her father. So I showed the pictures of what a normal brain looks like versus a pictures that temple Grandin had made of her brain doing the exact same thing as the normal brain. And maybe I'll post those this week. But there was a huge difference. The normal brain only maybe a quarter lit up. The autistic brain, three quarters of the brain was lit up and actively firing, so I explained to Riley that everyone is different, are no two people on the earth that is the same and she really likes the thought that her brain is brighter colors than everyone else's. I mean she's seven that's age appropriate for seven. As you get into older children, I know Angela, your kids are mostly younger, but as you're going into older children you would change that but keep it based on their knowledge and their understanding.

David Eggert: Also, I'm adding in there. For us it was a lot of, there's a video what is autism that I absolutely love because it breaks them down. Especially for the younger kids, it's geared more towards the four to eight year old level. That is just a phenomenal educational piece. It really, x breaks down autism, kind of how their brains function, how they operate. You know how they're different. That really opens their eyes because there is so much visual stimulation. There's just a lot of good in that video.

Jenn Eggert: Now Kimberly again, the anger and the mood swings are most likely purity. And I think seeing her doctor would be the best course. And then you guys can talk about if you want to do mood stabilizers therapy, It's controversial. I am not there yet, so I don't have an opinion yet, but birth control and stuff like that. So my recommendation is talk to your doctor now, Jason,

David Eggert: hold on. All right, above Jason's comment, she said doctors keeps telling me is the age and laughs. Well, it's very unprofessional. If your doctor's laughing at you, that's completely unprofessional.

Jenn Eggert: I would find a new primary care.

David Eggert: I was going to say that, but I didn't want to, but yeah, that would not fly too well with me. Yes, it is age related, but there's they're supposed to be trained to assist with these. Not laugh at us. We have enough issues as parents with kids with autism that you don't need anybody laughing at you. You need support. We've been blessed with a phenomenal, our physician locally. We struggled for years to get Riley's diagnosis. As soon as we went in there, we walked out with our diagnosis, which we knew all along even though North Carolina would not give us an autism diagnosis that was based on her heaven relationship with Jen and I. And that was it. That was the only reason they were not. But as soon as we moved to South Carolina, the school recognize that which got us into the doctor who instantly recognize it and has just been there for us 100%. You have to build a team around your kids. You have to have good support whether it's family, friends doctors, therapists. There's so much that goes into these children that you have to build that team. And if a team member's not working, you have to find the one that, that does work for your family.

Jenn Eggert: When Riley started there in hormone therapy, our first therapist did not work at all. And then we got this woman who walked into our house and sat down and started talking to Riley. And normally Riley doesn't pay at that point. She didn't pay attention to new people who came into her world. But this woman broke into Riley's world and today her son is in the first grade as well. And she was there to watch Riley received these awards as was her former preschool teacher who thought it would be best to hold her back. So these Riley proof today to these women that their work did really help her. So a great therapy team, doctor Tim, like Dave said, you need a team. It does not take one person. That takes a lot more. Now, Jason, my son, who is eight with autism and Adhd tends to have more tantrums and meltdowns when I interact with him compared to my wife. What is your suggestion on how to best interact with my son from a father's perspective Am I being too strict on my tone of voice?

David Eggert: I am the disciplinary. So rye, we obviously as more meltdowns because as soon as she hears go to dad, she knows that there's trouble.It's a role that I accept because it's not in Jen's heart or her body to be mean to the kids because she just wants what's best for them. Again, I'm a realist at heart I want my kids to be prepared for a wife. So way I look at it is I've got a boss to answer to. Just like everybody else in the world has someone that they're going to answer to. So they have to know that, hey, there's actions to two there. There's consequences to their actions. They know if Jen is dealing with it well, it's probably going to be okay because this mom, if dad gets involved, it's, there's going to be discipline and I know the meltdowns are coming, so I will discipline them I will handle whatever I will say whatever needs to be said. I will deal with that meltdown afterwards because they need to understand, just because there's an issue doesn't mean the world stops. Does doesn't mean that you're meltdown is any different because again, I'm trying to prepare them for wife. Well if they're, if they go into that epic meltdown it during work, that's not going to look too well upon them. And that's a hard thing is getting to that point where you know what's going to happen and it gets easier. Because Riley now we still have our meltdowns, especially if it's something major, but the minor stuff, it's okay. I'm sorry dad. I'll change I'll fix it. Right. A lot of that is I've been the disciplinary since she was little and it hasn't changed. Be Consistent don't want to say be softer, but you have to get those, get that white ball. You have to take the charge and make sure that they understand the consequences. As a father, that is the hardest thing because Riley is my daddy's girl. She has me wrapped around my finger. But at the same time, I know if I don't discipline her weight around the government will.

Jenn Eggert: And not only that David takes the time and Jason, I know you personally and I know you do too. It's that taking the time to form a connection with your child. They always say the first five days of a child's life is where you bond the most. But what happens when it's an autistic child, it is a constant challenge to bond and connect with your child their entire life. Find things. Jason, I know you guys tend to share things about superheroes in the Avengers. He's big into Avengers and stuff like that. So share those likes with him. Get involved on a personal level. Dave and Riley tend to, I'm not into it, but they love football. So I let them do football things.

David Eggert:Yup, You gotta find the balance. You can't always be the disciplinarian. You have to find a balance with that. But you definitely want to make sure that you still have that before a tea that they know who's in charge and they're not in charge. And that's a hard thing.

Jenn Eggert: Now Nora, she does sign language. That's awesome. And remember other than sign language, we do have the option of visual charts and those are awesome.

David Eggert: Now Nora, as far as respite care we actually were able to use a neighbor that we trusted. She had a relationship with Riley. We, obviously every state is different, but look into using a family member, a friend, someone that you trust that that has a relationship with your child because that is always an option.

Jenn Eggert: So what you're gonna do to do that is that when you seek respite care, you tell them that you are willing to find your own care provider if they provide the funds. That's how we got around. No one locally doing respite care. Nora, I understand that you're scared of puberty. I'm actually more petrol. We both are. I'm actually going to be addressing that hopefully soon in a show because puberty, like I said in itself is probably a four or five hour conversation. Yeah, so we will be addressing that now, Kimberly, I find that hilarious. Your 14 year old locks herself in her bedroom only wanting chocolate. The other day someone asked Riley to go get something. She walks into the room, comes back and she goes, you want a chocolate, right We're like, no tablet. She goes, oh, comes back with the tablet.

Jenn Eggert: And she goes, but now I want chocolate Riley, and she has her mother's love for chocolate. That's all I can say. Yes. Now Julie, the educators and other professionals call my son a puzzle. He's high functioning on something and low on others. He became verbal at age six. His anxieties off the chart. We're not able to take him anywhere. My husband works six days a week. I also feel trapped in my home. The counselors and psychiatrists have been working with him for years. My husband and I have no date life. My son is also starting puberty as well.first of all, does your son go to school I know sometimes he actually works his schedule that he can have a day off in the middle of the week so that we can have a day date because that way we don't have to find caregivers for Riley.

David Eggert: So the, the trapped in the home. I definitely understand that.

Jenn Eggert: I didn't leave our house for five months.

David Eggert:The theme is find a place even a small park where there may be one or two kids there, but not much. You have to build them up slowly. With Riley she was just going to meltdown mode every time we went anywhere and then you get the death stares from all the other parents who'd want to be judgmental because your child is crying in a store or misbehaving in their eyes when in reality it's just some reaction to the situation. Start small one or two, three people and just keep going back for a little bit couple of times. Then you go to a bigger park where there might be five, six kids and you just gradually build them up. That's what we had to do with Riley. Riley was the same way.

David Eggert: Now as John said, we went to an amusement park yesterday where hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people walking around and we have one mini meltdown where she threw a fit because dad was riding with her brother and not her so she got mad. But that four years ago there would be no wedding. We did care when is, when she was younger and it was not pleasant. We'd nobody enjoyed themselves. It was tough because, you we want our kids happy and we're trying to get them to savvy, experienced, but they're still in meltdown because it's too much for them. You have to start small and just gradually build that and I'm sure you've, you've done some stuff try and think outside the box. It doesn't have to be a park. It could be just a feel just get an out by himself for a little bit and then introducing different, different items and just like I said, start small.

Jenn Eggert: I grocery store. That's called first thing in the morning to the grocery store when it's empty. Yeah. Or late at night. Pick times when it's not busy. Pick Times where there's not a lot going on at that location and go then. Now Nettie, I love you're saying, and I say this all the time when everyone says, well she's autistic. Does that mean she's normal or not I said, normal is a dryer setting doesn't mean anything to me. That word means nothing in my family. You're very correct though. Each of our kids are different and special and unique and fun in their own ways. Angela White, I am actually doing a show on book recommendations in the next couple of weeks. So I will be talking about book recommendations for children and for parents and caregivers.

David Eggert: Hey Kim, we definitely understand that we are in the same boat. We used to travel an hour just to up to two hours to find the care that we needed. We got very, very lucky with the town we live and we live in a town of 5,000. There's basically one family care physician, one dentist, two eyeglass places, very, very small town. But if I have to travel for my child, I will, it won't stop me. I'll put in the time. It makes me a lot more tired. But in the long run, when they learned the skills and that you have the support, it makes a lot easier.

Jenn Eggert: And Kimberly, I know you're saying that you don't have the support in Georgia, but you have the support in the That is the link to join the group, which I am very active in and in there multiple times a day. Come join us for support. We are a family that love and support each other. And you're right, Ohio and Virginia do tend to have great support systems. I agree. Julie, the teen that you have for your child is imperative. And yes, it took Julie six years to find the right team.

David Eggert:It's not going to happen overnight.

Jenn Eggert:It's not a race. We're not in a race of any kind. Angela, I bombard, owes doctors with articles from medical journals when I have problems getting them to understand the struggles. That is an excellent idea. Dave here is the researcher of the family. So he will come at this from every angle saying, well, this is what the research says. This is where we are now. This is where we need to be.

David Eegert: Do your homework. Everybody uses Google. You could use it for good or bad. You can create a world of just disdain and terror. Or you can find the articles that actually show you what you need to do. You can just go to Google the first page you have to go through and really look, there's millions upon millions of entries just because one story says this, you can't take that to heart. You really have to dig into it.

Jenn Eggert: Angela, thanks for sharing with us. Angela actually use medication during puberty and it really helped her. Now, talking to Angela and knowing her the way I do, Angela she sees a lot of herself and her children as David sees a lot of himself and Riley, we think that some of the sensory things, and I know Angela agrees with me here, some of the sensory things our children probably got from us. And I know Angela White, you and I have discussed that at length that some of it came probably from us. Now Chrissy, finding a sitter is super hard.

David Eggert: It's not only there, there's thousands and thousands of options, but as a parent with a child with autism, find someone that you trust to be responsible for your child and deal with the meltdowns or anything else that could pop up is very, very difficult.

Jenn Eggert: That's why I recommend a sitter or sorry, a respite care worker. Also, if you look on the website, they do have sitters on there that have experience. I know in my tiny town we can't find that, but they do have sitters on there that have experience in some towns. Therapists actually work at night as sitters. So look into that because I know that was an option presented to us using a therapist as a sitter. Our therapist is talking to us about checking on gut health. Angela, you and I will discuss that personally because you know, my feelings got help. Has a lot to do with it. Yes, it does. Probiotics, when we started her on probiotics, it was something I wanted to try and he was a little bit skeptical, but within days he said, wow, the meltdowns decrease the added today's issues.

David Eggert:The meltdowns that happen were not as severe. There's so much inside our bodies that we don't understand that there's a lot of stuff that you can do, changing diets, making sure they're getting the probiotics, doing the little stuff that really makes a big difference.

Jenn Eggert: I will look into bringing someone on the show to speak specifically to get help. Now I'm going to have to hurry up a little bit folks cause we are past our timeframe and I have a couple more things to discuss. Kimberly, I agree you have a 13 year old, 14 year old total opposites. We have total opposites. Trust me, we get it right.

David Eggert: We have a sports kid, we have autistic kid and then a loaner kid. We did it.

Jenn Eggert: I was saying Christie, but I think, I'm pretty sure we're talking to Jason Today. Being a stay at home dad for three years now. It's hard but it's doable. And if you actually look at the way culture is moving now, there are more set at home dads. Jason is going to be the first to tell you that he is seeking more dads that are involved. So Krissy, Jason, I cannot pronounce that last name. I suggest you get in to contact with Jason Shie from because you too have a lot in common being very active in your children's lives and I know Jason is looking to connect with more Jason Shie from LakiKid is looking to connect with more dads that are doing it.

David Eggert: Hey Kimberly, a few years ago, amusement park would not be in the question for us either. We definitely understand that. Yup.

Jenn Eggert: Jason, we get it. Super tiny towns are hard. And yes, sometimes your older children are the best ones to deal with your autistic children are 15 year old son knows everything. We actually are now confident enough to leave them home alone for an hour or two because he can handle her better than most people. Yes Jason, Krissy. Jason just call you that for sake of keeping a straight, Jason said you can pm him for sure. I think you two connecting would be a very good thing. Angela, my 21 year old is the biggest help with the eight year old and he's getting ready to endless. I know you're struggling with the enlist thing. I have talked about that but I know he also is the eight year olds biggest support. Oh, has a lot of struggles in, he is amazing with him.

David Eggert: Build belt, the older brother up as a hero. And thank your son for enlisting.

Jenn Eggert: Yes, now that's all for questions unfortunately because we have run past her time because today's conversation was so okay. We'll call you Jason k cause your last name is hard to say. That's okay. My, my maiden name is Chouinard and it's spelled funny so no one understands and can say it either. Trust me, I get it. So I want to talk now quickly about our Kickstarter and how you can help LaliKid help you. We have a special going on the Kickstarter. Remember it's the water pen where you draw and it shows colors and then when it dries it dries white again. But you can not only draw if you're a homeschool parent, you can use it for tracing letters. Something simple. So if you go to we are having a very, very special flash sale.

Jenn Eggert: You can go and you can get it at our cost right now. If you back us on Kickstarter, you can get it at our cost. Again, this thing is amazing. It's about three pounds. Hold out to be about this big. So it's got four squares on top, four on bottom. It's got a hook for your water pen, your water pen actually has a safety feature. It does not unscrew the proper way. It unscrews backwards as my husband learned the hard way. So it is the safety feature of the water pen to unscrew backwards and screw on backwards. But you can go to to find out more about our products, more about our company and how to back us for as little as I want to say 24 99 I am waiting for Jason to confirm the price with me or Miguel.

Jenn Eggert: I'm waiting for one of them to tell me, but you can, no, no, no, no, no. Angela agars rolls over. Don't worry. It does roll over. It's still going. We didn't restart. We're just rolling it over in offering a flash sales. So if you want to get, another one you can get it $25 yes. For $25, which is pretty much our costs. You can back us on Kickstarter and get one of these amazing writeable weighted lap pads for your child. And if you're a teacher, you can sign up for different levels. So teachers can sign up for higher level, which is a little bit higher donation, but you get more rewards with it. So $25 to back us on Kickstarter for to get one of these amazing products. Please check our kickstarter I want to thank all of you for coming today.

Jenn Eggert: I've enjoyed the show. David hasn't been announced since what October, so I'm so thankful that he was able to join us. I know a lot of you like getting different perspectives, so hopefully this gives you a different perspective on your child in your life. Again, don't forget to back us on Kickstarter, you can join our Facebook group the Kickstarter. When does it end Angela, I will get you the exact date on when it ends. If Jason does not answer because I cannot remember for the life of me. Sorry. For those of you that know me, you know I forget things easy, but we will, I will get you an answer by the end of today. Angela, if Jason doesn't end. So Chris is okay. If you miss the show, I really think you will benefit from this show. So just go ahead and watch it now.

Jenn Eggert: Now there are 67 hours left in our Kickstarter 67 hours, so we have until Thursday to for you guys to get this flash sale and get in on our Kickstarter. So please, please, please check out our Kickstarter, bookmark it on your computer if you have to. For payday, we're good til Thursday. After backing, how much will the lap pad be? $25. Your backing price is the price of the lap pad. So go to the Kickstarter page and it'll explain everything it's really laid out well that you can get all the answers you need. If you don't get the answers you need, feel free to pm me, myself, or Jason or posts in the LakiKid group. We will help you find a way to back our Kickstarter if you can. The retail price of the lap pad after the Kickstarter campaign ends will be $60.

Jenn Eggert: And you can continue to back it after Thursday, but the price will go up. This is a flash sale until Thursday Only, again flash sale until Thursday only. So I want to thank all of you for joining us. We really, really appreciate it. If you miss parts of the show, please go back and watch it in the replays. If you have questions, join me in group. You know, I'll be there and I will answer any questions I can. If you have a question for Dave, I will ask my husband and come back with his answer. Just let me know that you specifically want Dave asked that question. So thank you all for joining us. We've had a great day talking about our Kickstarter and most importantly talking about parenting a child with autism from both parents point of view. Thank you all for coming for member.

Jenn Eggert: You can join me every Monday, live at 1:00 PM eastern to meet parents, learn tips and tricks and share your insights. Jennifer, go get it today, girl. Trust me, you do not want to miss this deal. $25 compared to $60 it speaks for itself folks. So thank you all for coming. we've had a great day.

David Eggert: Thank you

Jenn Eggert: Thank you for allowing me to bring my husband on the show and share our wonderful story of how we are doing it with all of you. I love you all and I will talk to you soon and remember until then, every child brings good luck.

Marie Rail: So nice to meet you, Jen.

Jenn Eggert: Nice to meet you Marie. Now folks, remember if you know someone who would like who could use our show, tag them in the comments or share on your timeline. Now I want to welcome those of you watching live on Facebook or listening to the podcast on iTunes or youtube. If you want to get alerts to ask questions live and view us live, please type the number "5" in the comments section. Now welcome everyone. I know it is a holiday and so far there are no one but we all know that everyone comes on the reviews when they have time. Oh Chris. Chris is here and Chris is the one person I wanted to do this show for the morning, Hi Chris I'm so happy you could make it. We are discussing allergen friendly, fun food. I know cam has difficulties. Marie and I are actually, we were talking about you and we're going to talk more to you at the end of the show. So if you're just joining us, you're listening to ask an autism mom show and today we're talking about getting your child interested in food and how to make food fun and exciting and Allergen friendly at the same time. I can't wait until this topic with you, but first I want to give a huge credit to our sponsor. As you all know, our sponsor is LakiKid. Where are we currently have are new write and chill weighted lap pad, which is on Kickstarter.

Jenn Eggert: Miguel will add the comment to the live comments section when he gets a chance or the Kickstarter of this. If you go to the Kickstarter page and back us, there is a way to win a different prize each week for the entire month of May. We are coming to a close so please go check it out. Enter now before the end of the month because we're so close to that end of the month cutoff. Now today I am speaking with and I'm going to read from my phone cause it's a little bit to say with Marie who is the m and m chef and also its magic. Chef Marie believes strongly and passionately and then after we'll taste freshness in premium quality of her herbs and spices developed by Mchef, they are filler free. 12 allergen free wheat or gluten, wheat, Rye, try to call soy nuts, peanuts, eggs, dairy, shellfish, sesame, mustard, coconut and sulfite. They are Vegan friendly. They're kosher. They are low in sodium at only 10% MSG and GMO free at 2003 graduate of the institute to Hoteliere. Okay, sorry folks. I've may be French but I can't speak it. Well I did. Marie, do you want to explain this part to us cause you get the words a little bit easier than I can for sure.

Marie Rail:Well, thank you for inviting me today and happy memoreial Day to all. What I wanted to bring here today is that the, I have such a journey, you know, in the food service or restaurant business and into cooking in private than kitchen people's home. And this journey of over 20 years rock me to the sense of food, get back into quality ingredients, how to search for them, what to expect when we are buying and grocery store, what to read on mainly both to be able to get really the, the best at home that will not create any food allergies or food intolerances. So I am a chef 22, 23 years in the restaurant business at took me 10 years to become a chef. It to maybe a bit longer for woman, but it will journey. And I searched a lot during all those years working in restaurants and notice that we have several issues with gluten and in fact and too much sodium. So that's why I'm on a mission for bringing you the best of ingredients to spice it up, flavor up and meals everyday. So it's not a task to eat, but just so fun to explore and enjoy food.

Jenn Eggert: Now I'm going to get into a little bit of how does flavor affect food especially when we're talking about children.

Marie Rail: Well flavors, now we have a, we're five senses not connected to the brain. sour and bitters, sweet, salty and savory. So have to play with these flavors into a recipes to be able to attract pay spots, track that their palettes, children. And another way for that is to try to attract the children by colors, colors of food. Now we are really relating it to veggies and foods, green, yellow and red. These are type of colors that can attract immediately and children. And for that I think that we have to start to be a sense of taking on the journey. And our children and bringing them first to the grocery store and shopping with us. So we will notice what our children are attracted and warm on colors. For sure it may be less on the meat that is even though it's red in the grocery and they know that when it's cooked it's Brown.

Marie Rail: So, and they're read their B is not part of the nutrition to all of the Diet and it's white and it's not the feeling. So we really want to stick the children into the veggies and fruits addict and the like you have mentioned and we want them to explore by touch. So if they touch a melon and it's green and it's very, very bright and it's, and it's very smooth on the texture, they may be attracted to, to this more than an avocado that is more a darker green and the not very smooth. So we want them to test out by touching. That's the main part. First thing that we want to do and then in the kitchen is to involve them into the recipes and took the cookies that that would be the second thing. And not seeing food as a dost again of having to prepare food, but let's say to say to our kids, Hey, activity time today, we're gonna smell work on a try, work on the taste whether we like it or not. We're going to do an exploration and experience for our taste buds so that, that would be a second step, general, right. And then slowly shift our kids to have fear as snacks, healthier anchorages so we let go the, the fattening foods, the sugary food, and we focus on this gluten free dairy free, even for some of you, not free peanut free type of nutrition,but it's, it's doable, but it takes time of course.

Jenn Eggert: And it does take time. And folks, I just want to say summer is coming. You can buy, online on Amazon, these Ziploc pouches that look like breezy pouches or ice pop pouches and you can fill them with whatever you want so you can actually have them enjoy and explore pureed fruits up and pouring them in these molds and then putting them in the freezer. And that's all for some veggies. That's not that 100% fake stuff from Walmart, but just something as simple as making them as smoothie or making them these icy pops that are healthy is a good start. Because I tell you and Marie will agree, picky eaters will not pick up a food on the first time and go, okay, it takes time and it takes a lot of this tension.

Marie Rail: And by then it's fun to talk about it because I'm going to propose you different recipes that you can start doing it at home and we have four popsicle, so we can use those. Ziplock you know, it's a, it's a fruity popsicle, but it's a hidden Prudy popsicle. We don't have to mention to our children that it's made of only fruits because we may have a bit of reticence. And I have also in the recipes a hidden Veggie pure free that you can also put into those sip of back. So it's just that we want to introduce them slowly but surely to a really good, the fruits and veggies at these five hidden and they into our nutrition would be top notch.

Jenn Eggert: And our next question kind of goes with what I feel right now. How can we make mealtime or enjoyable the presentation Do you feel that the presentation makes a big difference, especially with kids. Oh, absolutely. And evolving.

Marie Rail: Oh, absolutely And evolving. Yes, texture. We played with volume when we create on our own, on food or dish. And this do you notice this way of putting food into, into our plate Yes. That's when you, you have to be the star. You know, you have to be very creative. So if you have a ton of a salad, you make it sure that it's very high and it looks like a mountain. And then you know, if you have a little bit of the blueberries or you know, you just sprinkled everywhere because it's blue and it's and it's colorful and if you have your fish or you had your piece of meat, you know, you make sure that you put on top little colorful carrots or Zucchini or yes, you have to play. You can make a faces and on your plate, happy faces, animal shapes, everything. You can even buy online if you know, really anywhere. Even Amazon with those silicone molds shaped of animals or do you know a folky spaces icons. Happy face. So this will be attractive also.They have to play.

Jenn Eggert: Yes, Exactly. Parents, I want to say if you're the enough have with emotions and understanding emotions. I know you do a lot of emotions work, making food into happy faces. Sad faces would really, that would be another way to introduce the emotion to your child and again, make food fun.

Marie Rail: That's such a good idea Jen. Yes. Relate to their own emotions with the plate, with the food that they're going to, apps of that.

Jenn Eggert: That's such a good idea. Now, why is nutrition and so and great taste so important to you.

Marie Rail: Well these days on the market, you know, we are used to cook more than the basic ingredients that we are buying. There's a lot of fillers added to it, but unfortunately with our laws and restriction the, that there are not much, that are shown on the labels. And this is really the mission that I wanted to go on is to work with Herbs and spices since they are the stars of our recipes. But bring back herbs and spices only into a conventional cryo vac packaging bags there's no chemicals won't make flooding.

Jenn Eggert: But I want to show it very clearly. It's Allergen free so she makes it so that you have no question what you are saving yourself from. And then if you turn to the back, it says Msg free, filler free, gluten free and trans fat free. Did you know I didn't know until about two years ago that regular pepper had fillers in it that had gluten sometimes. So you really have to watch in even Marie is probably a frustration of yours as well. Even if it says it's safe, it sometimes is not.

Marie Rail: No, unfortunately this, the main sellers that we find into herbs and spices are corn, wheat, and we have all types of different types of gluten and cellulose. Some willows, it's a what fiber and the, that's why certain companies are saying that it's gluten free. Of course the sadness is gluten free, but it's still the filler added. And unfortunately if we buy more fillers and hurts and spices and already hurts and spices are our product that is expensive because the flavor up everything, we really want to focus on it on in pure profit. That's the main goal. That's what we wanted to do.

Jenn Eggert: Now Marie, How did you get started on this adventure of making food fun and enjoyable but also safe.

Marie Rail: I want it to get back into the the, the foundation of nutrition. It's to keep our body healthy. It's to provide energy. Everything is energy, food is energy. So for me, I say, well, we are working so hard, we are spending lots of time on the highway and not much time into cooking. What I wanted to bring is to, is to bring the fun back of cooking, but fast and effective, easy recipes and to integrate recipes and with our family members at to safe. While we're going to do an activity, it's going to be Sunday. Everybody, you know, from nine to 11, we're just going to cheer up in the kitchen and we're going to do what we need to do to be about to go through our week without any struggles in time. So it was to maximize time. And for that I saved, I bring up a herbs and spice and collection that is really fun for cooking or baking and even for beverages, everybody's gonna have fun doing it because in the end the result will be, will be a party for the mouth. So other fresh and you're really quality, recipes that I want to offer you.

Jenn Eggert: And not only that, you were talking about meal planning. Remember folks, a lot of us struggle with budgets and stuff. If you meal plan, you can save a fortune, especially if you watch for sales and follow all of your sales. And now the farmers markets are coming out and you're getting more fresh variety. So that's important to remember, especially for some of you that are struggling financially. Food, meal planning, doing it on a Sunday, getting a week's worth of meals done. It does actually save a lot of money.

Marie Rail: I would like to add something to what to I saying because it's very interesting to focus on buying locally and into farmer's market and that's when you can allocate a little bit more budget during summer time to buy food, to buy more food. Because in farmer's market you can buy in volume. So you saved money and then you can freeze it. And during winter time you will be able to add into your recipes, really good quality veggies instead of buying it every week, even at winter time and get those fruits and veggies that are coming a bit everywhere. And the this is not, we're not good one, not what we want to prioritize.

Jenn Eggert:Yeah, Now nobody really knows this yet. I haven't, I know that I was waiting to, now Marie has made some special recipes specifically for us and she is going to continue to do so for a while and we are going to be posting them on all of our social media. As you all know. Most of you, most of you know all of our social media links, but if you don't go to the main page and we will start posting on there. All these recipes, Marie makes our allergen friendly. Chris, these recipes are phenomenal for you specifically. So Marie, do you want to talk a little bit about the recipes that you're working on for us.

Marie Rail: Yes. Well, we started to with five, five, the fun ones. So we had the chicken, the chicken soup, because it's always good for the soul and on a rainy day it warms up the hearts. So I wanted to provide you with the, a very flavourish one. Easy to make 25 minutes up and go. You can freeze it easily and you're gone. You're going to have a it's a 12 serving a recipe and you can double it easily if you want to keep it longer, then you have a chicken finger, recipe, gluten free, the super diverse, you're gonna tick it off. It's gonna be a good one, this one. And the you, you can easily also freeze it. Not a problem. So the feel free to double the recipe as well. We have a hidden beds you puree like we've mentioned at the beginning, this gonna be fun. You're going to see, I integrate a lot of different types of veggies but so nutritious. So and the color will become a little orange so it's going to be appealing for the eyes. Then you have a popsicle because it's summertime soon actually. Do you guys have good weather right now

Jenn Eggert: We're hitting a hundred degrees someday.

Marie Rail:Okay, well thanks. So there's got to be the best time to make those popsicle with the children at home. And the last one where I didn't have the choice my inner child had to provide you with that recipe. It's a chocolate chip cookie gluten free recipe and it's absolutely easy to make.

Jenn Eggert: And I want to say let your kids help you. If they want to add peanut butter chips to your chocolate chip cookies, let them, if they want to send the flinch the fruits on their smoothies or their pops, I know Marie is going to say the same thing. If they don't want blueberries, they want more strawberries, give them what they want. They're still eating this nutritious food. Don't focus on things. Should have every single color of the rainbow, every meal.

Marie Rail: I think normally on your vibe, your eyes, we have to give them the choice. Yes they have to be free of picking of what they want.

Jenn Eggert: Exactly. Now Marie, I know you have generously given us the opportunity to some of your recipes every month, but you have also offered us an amazing deal on your spices. Would you like everyone know about that.

Marie Rail: Well, I have, I would like to offer you exclusively if 50% on your purchase on the So you're gonna see, you have different type of herb said that you may be interested in, but we have also bundles and 50% is for you and it's going to be for a good two months

Jenn Eggert: And Marie, is there a code to get that

Marie Rail: Yes. Do you have the code Jenn

Jenn Eggert: I do not, I will do is I will be posting the code on Facebook in the group and our other social media. Just give me 24 hours to make a link or to set up a code and I will post the code for everyone because I kind of maybe made a promise to my children. I'd bring them to the beach after the show today. So I'm taking time off honestly on getting the code to everyone within the next 24 hours. Don't worry. Well now we're going to go to our audience. We have Chris, I'm going to start with Chris. I know there's two of you that are commenting and asking questions. Chris, listen, a gluten free eating out is hard. It is extremely hard to eat out when you're gluten free. Marie and I are both share the joyable enjoyable having to be gluten free. We both cannot eat gluten so we understand fully. There is Chris, I will look it up and get it to you. There is an app that tells you which trust Toronto to go to and what you can eat that is safe. So let me find that APP and I will send it to later this week. Oh, and I'm sure.

Marie Rail: So I would like to not to add something into what you are seeing because a yes, it's difficult to find gluten free. And what happens is that when they are putting on their menu gluten free, we still have to ask questions and sometimes the manager at the restaurant won't be able to answer the questions and feel free, do not hesitate to ask the chef or the cook to come by at you're at a table and be very strictly asking those questions. What do you put into your recipe are you sure that the product is gluten free even as for herbs and spices, we want to make sure that they use the proper ingredients. So really we need to ask every time.

Jenn Eggert: We do, I went at a restaurant the same thing I eat all the time and I didn't think to ask and one day I went in there and asked and they said, oh, it's still the same. They didn't tell me the spices has changed.

Jenn Eggert: Their manufacturer of the spice has changed so I no longer can eat that food. So ask every time, do not feel bad about constantly bringing it back up. Every time you go out you're going to sound like a broken record, but it's going to protect you in a lot of ways.

Marie Rail: Absolutely.

Jenn Eggert: I'm so excited for Chris. Chris was recently able to actually bring dairy back into cams. Life is only, I'm going to get this wrong. He is three years old and he is a very difficult eater with being very free, gluten free citrus. He can't tolerate things like pineapple and he, Chris or Cam has issues with texture. A lot of our kids have issues with that texture. And Marie and I were talking before the show and remember folks, this is always my advice. Try the smell, hold, smell lick kiss or kiss, lick, bite and work at over time. It's not going to work in a week. It's going to take a lot of time, but you can get them to try different textures.

Marie Rail: Now we have to prioritize on the texture that the children likes. Yes. And just by changing a little bit, slowly but surely they reverse. It's a very, it's a chef that is, but of
course it takes time.

Jenn Eggert: Very much, so now we have Christina, my boy has been pretty good with trying new foods. And last week's Christine, I'm so happy for you actually got Riley to try a spice cake last night. What the pair compote. And everyone's like, oh, she's trying that. And I said, she wants to try it. Let her go. My daughter, everyone knows that watches a show. You all know, my daughter has once given our dogs a 45 minute lecture on how vegetables or fruit pink kill you because they're good for you. Sell fruit and vegetables are bad. But the last couple of weeks we've been trying them in different ways and I said, do you know that's a fruit right And she just puts her head down and goes, yeah.

Marie Rail: Miss you're gonna, you're gonna winner of the Good Christina. It's good news. It's a work in progress.

Jenn Eggert: Yes, Chris says, so then you have to be warned about and understand is that he's been gluten free for a month. Now once you take away gluten, the minute you reintroduce gluten, yes, you're going to have a problem that day. Like he's having a problem immediately today he had chicken nuggets and is very sick and that's going to happen when you go gluten free. Unfortunately, as hard as it is, you can not a Marie, I know you're going to agree with me. You cannot give gluten if the child or person is gluten free. Instant illness is pretty much all you're going to get as a result. Sure.

Jenn Eggert: So if you're going to do gluten free, try and stick to it all the time because if you don't, it's going to be, especially for a young child, very difficult.

Marie Rail: Yes. Unfortunately it's about the emotion that the child cannot be really have to watch, but it sits in Luton is hidden in two foods, so less processed food possible. These nuggets, these chicken against you can make them easily at home without having to buy It's back to basic to get back into a regular food that we can cook outside ourselves. The focus lesson to process the firm. and make time and cooking.

Jenn Eggert: I agree Yeah, exactly. Cooking, you can make a cheap, quick process meal quickly, but those real meals, they do take time, but they are worth the time and energy spent. Do you know what I actually did when I use this vice folks I took my chicken plain chicken breast, boneless skinless. I sprinkled a little bit on it, tossed it in my air fryer 20 minutes later. It was delicious.

Marie Rail: Easy Breezy.

Jenn Eggert: Now, Chris, I love that idea of buying meat from the four group of an auction. Because if you can get those opportunities to buy farm fresh meat, half a cow, a quarter of a cow. I'm sorry, my grandparents were farmers. I grew up always having my parents bring home a half a cow. It was no big deal to us. It was processed. We had our ground beef in our we always had, it was just natural for us.

Marie Rail: So you can, you gonna you're gonna see the results also into the house.

Jenn Eggert:Yes, I know urban farming is becoming popular, especially with chickens. Farm fresh eggs are an amazing thing to add if your child is not, um, egg-free, but it's something good protein and being fresh. It's just so much better for their body.

Jenn Eggert: Yes. Now, Chris finally, he finally likes chicken rice and we'll tolerate. I'm so excited. We have been working so hard with Cameron to get him to eat and he will now eat rice with rice in his mouth.

Marie Rail: And it said the big thick texture, a, it's a big improvement. And in careful with their rice to one with the gluten, who makes sure that the, you buy the, the rise to that doesn't it That is not precook that or any added seasoning into this. No, Because you're gonna get some symptoms.

Jenn Eggert: Yes. I've only just the big five, 10 pound bags of white rice with nothing in it

Marie Rail: And more affordable too. That's a good one.

Jenn Eggert: Yes, that's like $2.

Marie Rail: Awesome.

Jenn Eggert: Let's look, we are looking for now Chris, I really love that his therapists are having him play with the food and try the food and explore the food. Like Marie was saying, the more we explore the food, the more the child is likely to want to try it.

Marie Rail: And he's so cute to be messy because if it's part of the activity of trying new food.

Jenn Eggert: Yes, And it makes it more fun if you let them kind of explore and move around a little bit.

Marie Rail: Playtime in the kitchen.

Jenn Eggert: So I'm just going and Chris, you're going to notice that a lot of things once he gets more on, he's only been on the gluten free diet since the first of this month. Things are going to improve his skin, his stomach issues. But thinking clear, yes, I, there's a brain fog that comes with eating allergens for some people and that is just the way it's sadly is. And I do suggest that, let me look one up this week, but I will post a list of other words that mean gluten because I always thought gluten meant one thing. And then I'm sitting here and I'm reading this list and I said, oh, modified food search. That's a big no, I even stay away from modified corn starch. I stay away from anything modified. So I will look up the list of other words for the meanings of that main gluten and I will post it for everyone to have, I suggest printing it off. I for what, two, three years carried the handy little paper that had all the words for gluten written down. Now I want to thank all of you for coming, especially chef Marie and I'm so excited for our partnership with the special on the spices. Folks, trust me, my family loves them. They have not only regular meal spices but like she says, she has desserts and drinks spices to make mom and dad's life a little more fun too.

Jenn Eggert: So I want to thank everyone for joining us today. You can join me every Monday live at 1:00 PM Eastern for ask an autism mom with Jen Eggert and we've, we'll be discussing various topics like always, I want to remind you, go to our Kickstarter page, which will be posted shortly and check out the Kickstarter for the weighted lap pad. And this week I will make an announcement of the last two weeks winners. Try and get into the giveaway before the end of the month when it closes. I am so thankful for all of you today. I know it's a holiday. Chris, I'm so happy you could make it. You are the one person that's his show was, I was gearing this show for. So Chris, thank you for watching.

Jenn Eggert: if you enjoyed today's show, remember you can type the number "5" in the comments section now to subscribe. You can also go to youtube and hit the subscribe button and the bell notification button. And you can always join our parent's support group at and you can leave questions to I will answered live on the show. If you go to you can leave your questions there and I will ask them why be on an upcoming show I want to thank you, everyone for coming. Marie, thank you for joining us today. I had a great thing.

Marie Rail: Thank you Jenn.

Jenn Eggert: I'm missing french accent.

Marie Rail: We're French Canadian. You are tonight.

Jenn Eggert: That's so, I want to thank everyone for coming. I cannot wait to talk to you again soon and remember, every child brings good luck.

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